Tuesday, November 25, 2008

鲁迅散文:风筝

故乡的风筝时节,是春二月,倘听到沙沙的风轮声,仰头便能看见一个淡墨色的 蟹风筝或嫩蓝色的蜈蚣风筝。还有寂寞的瓦片风筝,没有风轮,又放得很低,伶仃地显出憔 悴可怜模样。但此时地上的杨柳已经发芽,早的山桃也多吐蕾,和孩子们的天上的点缀相照 应,打成一片春日的温和。我现在在那里呢?四面都还是严冬的肃杀,而久经诀别的故乡的 久经逝去的春天,却就在这天空中荡漾了。
但我是向来不爱放风筝的,不但不爱,并且嫌恶他,因为我以为这是没出息孩子所做的 玩艺。和我相反的是我的小兄弟,他那时大概十岁内外罢,多病,瘦得不堪,然而最喜欢风 筝,自己买不起,我又不许放,他只得张着小嘴,呆看着空中出神,有时至于小半日。远处 的蟹风筝突然落下来了,他惊呼;两个瓦片风筝的缠绕解开了,他高兴得跳跃。他的这些, 在我看来都是笑柄,可鄙的。 有一天,我忽然想起,似乎多日不很看见他了,但记得曾见他在后园拾枯竹。我恍然大 悟似的,便跑向少有人去的一间堆积杂物的小屋去,推开门,果然就在尘封的什物堆中发见 了他。他向着大方凳,坐在小凳上;便很惊惶地站了起来,失了色瑟缩着。大方凳旁靠着一 个胡蝶风筝的竹骨,还没有糊上纸,凳上是一对做眼睛用的小风轮,正用红纸条装饰着,将 要完工了。我在破获秘密的满足中,又很愤怒他的瞒了我的眼睛,这样苦心孤诣地来偷做没 出息孩子的玩艺。我即刻伸手折断了胡蝶的一支翅骨,又将风轮掷在地下,踏扁了。论长 幼,论力气,他是都敌不过我的,我当然得到完全的胜利,于是傲然走出,留他绝望地站在 小屋里。后来他怎样,我不知道,也没有留心。
然而我的惩罚终于轮到了,在我们离别得很久之后,我已经是中年。我不幸偶而看了一 本外国的讲论儿童的书,才知道游戏是儿童最正当的行为,玩具是儿童的天使。于是二十年 来毫不忆及的幼小时候对于精神的虐杀的这一幕,忽地在眼前展开,而我的心也仿佛同时变 了铅块,很重很重的堕下去了。
但心又不竟堕下去而至于断绝,他只是很重很重地堕着,堕着。
我也知道补过的方法的:送他风筝,赞成他放,劝他放,我和他一同放。我们嚷着,跑 着,笑着。——然而他其时已经和我一样,早已有了胡子了。 我也知道还有一个补过的方法的:去讨他的宽恕,等他说,“我可是毫不怪你呵。”那 么,我的心一定就轻松了,这确是一个可行的方法。有一回,我们会面的时候,是脸上都已 添刻了许多“生”的辛苦的条纹,而我的心很沉重。我们渐渐谈起儿时的旧事来,我便叙述 到这一节,自说少年时代的胡涂。“我可是毫不怪你呵。”我想,他要说了,我即刻便受了 宽恕,我的心从此也宽松了罢。 “有过这样的事么?”他惊异地笑着说,就像旁听着别人的故事一样。他什么也不记得 了。
全然忘却,毫无怨恨,又有什么宽恕之可言呢?无怨的恕,说谎罢了。
我还能希求什么呢?我的心只得沉重着。
现在,故乡的春天又在这异地的空中了,既给我久经逝去的儿时的回忆,而一并也带着 无可把握的悲哀。我倒不如躲到肃杀的严冬中去罢,——但是,四面又明明是严冬,正给我 非常的寒威和冷气。
一九二五年一月二十四日。

You call this a Niche?


我们市场学最常用的名词“niche”,指大众市场外,独特的小市场。利润比大众市场更高,但很不容易找到。
这里是一个“混吃,等死,赖活着”的典型。连同伴都看不下去了,哈哈。


Monday, November 24, 2008

Today's thought

You should always do something you don't have to do (work hard, helping others...), so that you don't have to do things you don't like to do.

Only try to meet the bare minimum will make you barely satisfied. The smart ones have the faith to ask for more even when they have enough, to knock the door when it is closed, to search for answers when they are lost.

Thursday, November 20, 2008

与国人男士共勉

漫画的作者Larson一定没有想到他的狗儿Rusty比好多国人都做得好:我们很多男士的bad breath 已经到了“只可远观”的地步。所谓绅士淑女,不拘小节是万万不行的。

Monday, November 17, 2008

Warren Savage: From Anchorman to Drug Addict

Transcript from CNN Interview by Whitefield:


"For 10 years, his was the face and voice waking up Atlanta ( Good morning. I'm Warren Savage.) Then one morning, Warren Savage was the lead story. His mug shot plastered everywhere. Savage in his early 40s, busted for drug possession. Watching his fall from grace from a jail cell."
SAVAGE: it was humiliating. I mean, total embarrassment.
WHITFIELD: A dream job.
SAVAGE: Ten years had risen to this level. I mean, I'm very proud of.
WHITFIELD: A bachelor. Six-figure salary, cars, two houses.
SAVAGE: You were the number one local morning news show in the country, and I was very proud of that.
WHITFIELD: A dream life.
SAVAGE: It just got to the point where you know things just didn't matter to me.
WHITFIELD: All of it concealing a nightmare.
SAVAGE: They didn't know that Warren was depressed. That Warren was unhappy. They didn't know that Warren was very dissatisfied.
WHITFIELD: Depression had taken over.
SAVAGE: I went from depression to denial to detention.
WHITFIELD: But not but all at once. First -
SAVAGE: Dissatisfied with the news business. Dissatisfied with office politics.
WHITFIELD: So he abruptly quit his job minutes before he was to go on the air.
SAVAGE: I regret the way I left. I don't know that I regret leaving but I regret the way that I left.
WHITFIELD: Moved to Vegas.
SAVAGE: I thought that I'd be happier playing music. Las Vegas is a land of excesses.
WHITFIELD: Excesses that in his case translated into a lot of drugs and an overdose of bad judgment. He thought returning to the less glittery and slower paced Atlanta might be a quick fix.
SAVAGE: I had the presence of mind that you know the environment that I was in was not healthy. But you know addiction is merely a symptom of all the stuff that's screwed up in us. I mean, that's what I had to realize that my addiction was a symptom of everything that was wrong with me. And the things that I needed to fix with me. The character defects that I had to identify, to address and things, I mean, that I was struggling with for years. I mean, things that I didn't even know why I was unhappy.
WHITFIELD: Things like?
SAVAGE: Striving to be perfect. I was always a perfectionist. I put - I was always hard on myself. I put a lot of pressure on myself. Undue pressure on myself. And I think I put a lot of undue pressure on a lot of people.
WHITFIELD: The fast lane in Vegas now behind him. But a blurry $100,000 a year cocaine habit was still driving Savage. A traffic stop in rural Forsythe county outside Atlanta put the brakes on everything.
SAVAGE: From Warren Savage sitting in, you know, suits and ties, dwindled down to an orange jumpsuit in the Forsythe county jail asking myself, how did I get here?
WHITFIELD: And how to get back on track. And there's more. This is just the beginning. Warren Savage said he had to lose everything to get what he needed. Find out what he needed in the second part of my interview.

SAVAGE: I was heading down a destructive path, headed for a cliff. And not for my arrest, I would have gone over that cliff.

WHITFIELD: From seemingly on top of the world Atlanta morning anchorman to rolling the dice in Vegas as a musician in search of true happiness to Warren Savage, hooked on cocaine, busted for drug possession. The fall was hard.
SAVAGE: I had to lose everything that I had to get what I needed. And that was humility and a real sense of who I am. I had to lose all of that stuff.
WHITFIELD: A big salary, cars, two houses, local celebrity.
SAVAGE: Good morning. I'm Warren Savage, and you're not. You know, that type of attitude had to be knocked down.
WHITFIELD: But you were comfortable with that for awhile. You admitted that to me.
SAVAGE: I was. I was comfortable with that for awhile. But after awhile, it became so vain. It wasn't me. I mean, it wasn't me. I -- I began to feel unlike me. And trying to be someone that I'm not. A lot of character defects. I was a very egotistical, very arrogant argumentative. I was hard on other people. I didn't realize until after I got arrested.
WHITFIELD: With this image on the air, instead of reporting the news, he was now the lead story. Savage painfully realized this was no longer about just him.
SAVAGE: I got so many letters, so many letters from so many people. I mean, I well up even today when I read them. They are just so heartwarming and encouraging.
WHITFIELD: Tired of dismissing his depression, running away reality, Savage pleaded guilty to drug possession in exchange for 18 months of enforced rehabilitation. Rehab now complete, he lives modestly in rural Georgia. His bike, his most valued possession, getting him to work stocking shelves overnight at a retailer.
SAVAGE: I was heading down a destructive path, heading for a cliff. And if not for my arrest, I would have gone over that cliff. I try to do the best I can one day at a time. And I know -- I know if I had to speak -- if I could speak to children now, I could speak to children. There are only two roads that lead, that drug addiction, that drug use. Any drug that lead, jail or the graveyard. There's only two roads. I mean, that's it. That's it.
WHITFIELD: Hopeful, anyone else fighting this same kind of inner demons on the road to almost certain self-destruction, or worse, can learn from his wild ride.
SAVAGE: We all have demons. We all have things we're dealing with. Sometimes you think you know your neighbor. Sometimes you think you know your co-worker who you work side by side, next to every day. You never know what they are masking.
WHITFIELD: If that was Warren Savage then. Who have you discovered Warren Savage is now?
SAVAGE: I have a purpose. I think I know what my purpose is. And I think it is to help other people. I think it is to help other people who may feel like they are hopeless and that they are helpless. And that they can turn their lives around.
WHITFIELD: He hasn't mapped out what's next or whether he'll get back into television. But admits it's impossible to plan ahead without reflecting often on exactly where he has been.
SAVAGE: I had to learn that the road to hell is paved with good intentions, but the road back is paved with humility. And I needed to be on that road.
WHITFIELD: And nearly four months now after rehabilitation, Warren Savage admits it is still one day at a time, just like it is for anyone who is trying to kick an addiction.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Meassage from "Reaching the Invisible God" by Phillip Yancy

"The Christian has a great advantage over other men, not by being less fallen than they, nor less doomed to live in fallen world, but by knowing that he is a fallen man in a fallen world." -- C.S. Lewis

A pilgrim "who is on the way, though not necessarily very far along it, and who has at least some dim and half-baked idea of who to thank." --- Frederick Buechner

"I die of thirst, here at the fountainside." ---- Richard Wilbur

"This is hard teaching. Who can accept it?" (Disciples)
"You do not want to leave too, do you?" (Jesus)
"Lord, to whom shall we go?" (Simon Peter) John 6:68

"Your faith has healed you"

"Overtime, I have grown more comfortable with mystery rather than certainty. God does not twist arms and never forces us into a corner with faith in himself as the only exit. We can never present the Final proof, to ourselves or to anyone else. We will always, with Pascal, see "too much to deny and too little to be sure..."

Jesus often made it harder, not easier, for people to believe. He never violate an individual's freedom to decide, even to decide against him. ... And Jesus's story of the prodigal son reveals a divine attitude of forgiveness-in-advance that may seem indulgent and risky, but it did restore a dead son to life. "You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free," ... I have concluded its converse is also true: "Truth" that does not set free is not truth.

Gradually those doubts settles into a lesser place, or found resolution, and they did so, I think , because fear melted away. I learned that the opposite of faith is not doubt, but fear. One of John Donne's Holy Sonnets contains the mysterious line, "Churches are best for prayer, that have least light." ... After all, we lean on God out of need, not out of surplus.


As Thomas Graham, dean of a theological school, put it, faith is reason gone courageous - not the opposite of reason, to be sure, but something more than reason and never satisfied by reason alone. A step always remains beyond the range of light.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Private Jackson's Bible Quotes in Saving Private Ryan

On the Beach:
Private Jackson
: Be not Thou far from me, O Lord, for trouble is near; haste Thee to help me.
[lining up a rifle shot and killed the German machine gunner]


On the Street:
Private Jackson
: O my God, I trust in thee: let me not be ashamed, let not my enemies triumph over me.
[lining up a rifle shot at the tower and killed the German sniper]

On the Tower: Psalm 144:1-2
Private Jackson: Blessed be the Lord my strength, which teaches my hands to war, and my fingers to fight.
[lining up a rifle shot]
Private Jackson: My goodness, and my fortress; my high tower, and my deliverer; my shield, and he in whom I trust, (who subdueth my people under me),

[He did not finish the verse before a tank gun killed both him and his friend]
Youtube link for Private Jackson
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YFCpslqr1tQ




James, earn this, earn it!

This is the last words of Captain Miller (Tom Hanks) in "Saving Private Ryan". I know Lord is saying the same thing to me when he died in pain on the cross two thousand years ago.

The whole rescue does not make sense to the soldiers on the mission, as said by Private Reiben: "You want to explain the math of this to me? I mean, where's the sense in risking the lives of the eight of us to save one guy?"
Pvt. Reiben: Even if you think the misson's FUBAR, Captain? (Fubar means Nonesense, I think)
Capt. Miller: Especially if you think the mission's FUBAR.
The mission did not stop when they found Ryan. Now Ryan did not think he should be saved. He did not asked to be saved, nor did he want to. Ryan: "It doesn't make sense, sir. I mean, why me? Why not any of us?"

The mission made no sense mathematically, it made no sense practically. No one can answer Ryan's question. What Ryan did not understand is that it was not about him anymore, it is about all that they were fighting or dying for: the humanity that was lost in Europe under Adolf Hitler. If no one was willing to die for this mission, the Americans were no different from the Hitlers and it made no sense to even fight the war.

Lord died for us not because it made sense under any human reasoning. He died because it is the only way to lead us from darkness to light. We are lost and need to be found, we are blind and need to regain the eye sight, we are imprisoned by our sins and need to be set free, we are oppressed by fears and need to be released.

What else can He do? He did not have to die, or must he? Every day I need to ask myself: did I earn the new life I received from Him? I hope at the end of this journey, I can say the same words as Older Ryan in the cemetery: "... And I've tried to live my life the best I could. I hope that was enough. I hope that at least in your eyes, I've earned what all of you have done for me."

Thursday, November 6, 2008

《前赤壁赋》

苏轼
壬戌之秋,七月既望,苏子与客泛舟游于赤壁之下。清风徐来,水波不兴。举酒属客,诵明月之诗,歌窈窕之章。少焉,月出于东山之上,徘徊于斗牛之间。白露横江,水光接天。纵一苇之所如,凌万顷之茫然。浩浩乎如冯虚御风,而不知其所止;飘飘乎如遗世独立,羽化而登仙。于是饮酒乐甚,扣舷而歌之。歌曰:"桂棹兮兰桨,击空明兮溯流光。渺渺兮于怀,望美人兮天一方。"客有吹洞萧者,倚歌而和之,其声呜呜然:如怨如慕,如泣如诉;余音袅袅,不绝如缕;舞幽壑之潜蛟,泣孤舟之嫠妇。苏子愀然,正襟危坐,而问客曰:"何为其然也?"客曰:"月明星稀,乌鹊南飞,此非曹孟德之诗乎?西望夏口,东望武昌。山川相缪,郁乎苍苍;此非孟德之困于周郎者乎?方其破荆州,下江陵,顺流而东也,舳舻千里,旌旗蔽空,酾酒临江,横槊赋诗;固一世之雄也,而今安在哉?况吾与子,渔樵于江渚之上,侣鱼虾而友糜鹿,驾一叶之扁舟,举匏樽以相属;寄蜉蝣与天地,渺沧海之一粟。哀吾生之须臾,羡长江之无穷;挟飞仙以遨游,抱明月而长终;知不可乎骤得,托遗响于悲风。"苏子曰:"客亦知夫水与月乎?逝者如斯,而未尝往也;盈虚者如彼,而卒莫消长也。盖将自其变者而观之,而天地曾不能一瞬;自其不变者而观之,则物于我皆无尽也。而又何羡乎?且夫天地之间,物各有主。苟非吾之所有,虽一毫而莫取。惟江上之清风,与山间之明月,耳得之而为声,目遇之而成色。取之无禁,用之不竭。是造物者之无尽藏也,而吾与子之所共适。"客喜而笑,洗盏更酌,肴核既尽,杯盘狼藉。相与枕藉乎舟中,不知东方之既白。