The Letter of Sullivan Ballou in "the Civil War"

美国内战中最感人的一封信，北方军罗德岛第二志愿团Ballou少校写给他的妻子Sarah。 我 在Ken Burns 的“the Civil War"中听到，找到原文如下。Ballou向妻子解释他为什么要舍弃今生的幸福和生命，为什么要付出这样大的代价去拯救联邦。他认为自己是一个对独立战争死去的士兵欠债的人，他甘心舍去自己的性命来偿还。

To put the letter in context it is helpful to understand a little more about Sullivan's background. His father had died when he was very young and he was raised by his mother in absolute poverty. Yet, Sullivan managed to get an education and become a successful lawyer. He was eventually elected to the Rhode Island House of Representatives where he twice served as Speaker of the House. He was married to Sarah and had two young boys by the time he entered the Union army in June 1861. When Sullivan wrote his letter, he was camped with his regiment near Washington, D.C. Rumors of an expected move south into Virginia against the Confederates had been circulating all summer. Those rumors were about to come true. Everyone expected one big battle to settle the dispute between north and south. That battle would take place near Manassas Junction, Virginia but with an unexpected result. _____________ Sullivan's Letter _____________ July 14, 1861 Camp Clark, Washington My Very Dear Sarah: The indications are very strong that we will move in a few days - perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more. Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure – or it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. “Not my will, but thine, O God, be done.” If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans on the triumph of the government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing - perfectly willing - to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this government, and to pay that debt. But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows – when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children – is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country? I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death – and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee. I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved, and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and the principles I have often advocated before the people and “the name of honor that I love more than I fear death” have called upon me, and I have obeyed. Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on, with all these chains, to the battlefield. The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God, and to you, that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard for me it is to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me – perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar - that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often times been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more. But, oh Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night – amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours - always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again. As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father’s love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue-eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell our mothers I call God’s blessing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children. - Sullivan 一个星期以后，Sullivan Ballou 少校在Mannassas 阵亡。

The Lesson of Two Hungry Men

"从前，有两个饥饿的人得到了一位长者的恩赐：一根鱼竿和一篓鲜活硕大的鱼。其中，一个人要了一篓鱼，另一个人要了一根鱼竿，于是他们分道扬镳了。得到鱼的人原地就用干柴搭起篝火煮起了鱼，不久，他便饿死在吃空的鱼篓旁。另一个人则提着鱼竿向水边走去，可当他已经看到不远处那片水塘时，他浑身的最后一点力气也使完了。"

What I learned: God did not create us alone. The grace of God is only to be shared.
"No man is an island"

外表与内心

耶和华却对撒母耳说，不要看他的外貌和他身材高大，我不拣选他。因为要紧的不是人怎样看；人是看外貌，耶和华是看内心。撒母耳记上16:7


不要轻忽在你里面的恩赐，就是从前借着预言，同众长老按手所赐给你的。
这些事你要殷勤实行，并要投身其中，使众人看出你的长进来。你要留意自己和自己的教训；要在这些事上持之以恒，因为这样行，又能救自己，又能救听你的人。

For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.

鲁迅散文：风筝

故乡的风筝时节，是春二月，倘听到沙沙的风轮声，仰头便能看见一个淡墨色的 蟹风筝或嫩蓝色的蜈蚣风筝。还有寂寞的瓦片风筝，没有风轮，又放得很低，伶仃地显出憔 悴可怜模样。但此时地上的杨柳已经发芽，早的山桃也多吐蕾，和孩子们的天上的点缀相照 应，打成一片春日的温和。我现在在那里呢？四面都还是严冬的肃杀，而久经诀别的故乡的 久经逝去的春天，却就在这天空中荡漾了。
但我是向来不爱放风筝的，不但不爱，并且嫌恶他，因为我以为这是没出息孩子所做的 玩艺。和我相反的是我的小兄弟，他那时大概十岁内外罢，多病，瘦得不堪，然而最喜欢风 筝，自己买不起，我又不许放，他只得张着小嘴，呆看着空中出神，有时至于小半日。远处 的蟹风筝突然落下来了，他惊呼；两个瓦片风筝的缠绕解开了，他高兴得跳跃。他的这些， 在我看来都是笑柄，可鄙的。 有一天，我忽然想起，似乎多日不很看见他了，但记得曾见他在后园拾枯竹。我恍然大 悟似的，便跑向少有人去的一间堆积杂物的小屋去，推开门，果然就在尘封的什物堆中发见 了他。他向着大方凳，坐在小凳上；便很惊惶地站了起来，失了色瑟缩着。大方凳旁靠着一 个胡蝶风筝的竹骨，还没有糊上纸，凳上是一对做眼睛用的小风轮，正用红纸条装饰着，将 要完工了。我在破获秘密的满足中，又很愤怒他的瞒了我的眼睛，这样苦心孤诣地来偷做没 出息孩子的玩艺。我即刻伸手折断了胡蝶的一支翅骨，又将风轮掷在地下，踏扁了。论长 幼，论力气，他是都敌不过我的，我当然得到完全的胜利，于是傲然走出，留他绝望地站在 小屋里。后来他怎样，我不知道，也没有留心。
然而我的惩罚终于轮到了，在我们离别得很久之后，我已经是中年。我不幸偶而看了一 本外国的讲论儿童的书，才知道游戏是儿童最正当的行为，玩具是儿童的天使。于是二十年 来毫不忆及的幼小时候对于精神的虐杀的这一幕，忽地在眼前展开，而我的心也仿佛同时变 了铅块，很重很重的堕下去了。
但心又不竟堕下去而至于断绝，他只是很重很重地堕着，堕着。
我也知道补过的方法的：送他风筝，赞成他放，劝他放，我和他一同放。我们嚷着，跑 着，笑着。——然而他其时已经和我一样，早已有了胡子了。 我也知道还有一个补过的方法的：去讨他的宽恕，等他说，“我可是毫不怪你呵。”那 么，我的心一定就轻松了，这确是一个可行的方法。有一回，我们会面的时候，是脸上都已 添刻了许多“生”的辛苦的条纹，而我的心很沉重。我们渐渐谈起儿时的旧事来，我便叙述 到这一节，自说少年时代的胡涂。“我可是毫不怪你呵。”我想，他要说了，我即刻便受了 宽恕，我的心从此也宽松了罢。 “有过这样的事么？”他惊异地笑着说，就像旁听着别人的故事一样。他什么也不记得 了。
全然忘却，毫无怨恨，又有什么宽恕之可言呢？无怨的恕，说谎罢了。
我还能希求什么呢？我的心只得沉重着。
现在，故乡的春天又在这异地的空中了，既给我久经逝去的儿时的回忆，而一并也带着 无可把握的悲哀。我倒不如躲到肃杀的严冬中去罢，——但是，四面又明明是严冬，正给我 非常的寒威和冷气。
一九二五年一月二十四日。

You call this a Niche?

我们市场学最常用的名词“niche”，指大众市场外，独特的小市场。利润比大众市场更高，但很不容易找到。

这里是一个“混吃，等死，赖活着”的典型。连同伴都看不下去了，哈哈。

Today's thought

You should always do something you don't have to do (work hard, helping others...), so that you don't have to do things you don't like to do.

Only try to meet the bare minimum will make you barely satisfied. The smart ones have the faith to ask for more even when they have enough, to knock the door when it is closed, to search for answers when they are lost.

与国人男士共勉

漫画的作者Larson一定没有想到他的狗儿Rusty比好多国人都做得好：我们很多男士的bad breath 已经到了“只可远观”的地步。所谓绅士淑女，不拘小节是万万不行的。