The Real Gentlemen

From BBC News 01/21/2009

'Polite' Britons died on Titanic

More British passengers died on the Titanic because they queued politely for lifeboats, researchers believe.

A behavioural economist says data suggests Britons in that era were more inclined to be "gentlemanly" while Americans were more "individualist".

Women with children had a 70% better chance of survival than men in such an environment, he told the BBC.

The Titanic sank during its maiden voyage in 1912 after hitting an iceberg, with the loss of 1,500 lives.

David Savage, from Queensland University of Technology, studied the disaster to look at how people react in life and death situations.

He said that in testimonies from inquiries in America and Britain just after the event, there were a lot of statements from women saying their husbands put them on lifeboats.

They then "went to the back of the boat to have a cigar, to stand around and be chummy, while basically the boat went down".

Mr Savage said: "There was one gentleman who was rather wealthy... who went back downstairs after he put his wife on the [life] boat... put on his tuxedo...went back upstairs and smoked... with the idea that if I am going die, I may as well die as a gentleman and well-dressed."

'Peak of society'

The "unsinkable" ocean liner went down in freezing Atlantic waters during its voyage from Southampton to New York. As it sank, the captain, Edward John Smith, shouted: "Be British, boys, be British," according to witnesses.

"The American culture was set up to be a more individualist culture and the British culture was more about the gentlemanly behaviour," Mr Savage says.

"You've got to remember that this is the Edwardian period when to be a gentleman was the peak of society."

Mr Savage also concludes that social norms such as "women and children first" were very strong in British culture and survived in such an environment.

“不以物喜， 不以己悲”

范仲淹在“岳阳楼记”中最著名的一句是“先天下之忧而忧，后天下之乐而乐”，其意在回答何时而乐？（“是进亦忧，退亦忧；然则何时而乐耶？”）。古之圣贤后天下之乐而乐，但他们为什么能够如此，则未必清楚。

范仲淹能知忧乐有时，他也想告诉我们为何喜悲。 但是他只说出了我们“不以物喜，不以己悲”。

不以物喜，则以何为喜？ 爱神的大卫在诗篇里说“我因你的话欢喜” （诗119：162）， “我的魂就必因耶和华欢腾，因祂的救恩欢喜。” （诗35：9），智慧的所罗门在箴言里说“眼有光，使心喜乐” （箴15：30），主耶稣宣扬神的国度说：“当那日你们要欢喜跳跃，因为看哪，你们在天上的赏赐是大的”（路6：23）“要因你们的名记录在诸天之上欢喜。”（路10：20）传福音的保罗说：“基督究竟被宣传开了，为此我就欢喜，并且还要欢喜。”

主也告诉我们，忧愁和喜乐是一个事情的两面：“妇人生产的时候会有忧愁，因为她的时候到了；既生了孩子，就不再记得那苦楚，因为欢喜世上生了一个人。” （约16：21） 保罗说：“因为我们这短暂轻微的苦楚，要极尽超越的为我们成就永远重大的荣耀。”（林后4：17）摩西“宁可选择和神的百姓同受苦害，也不愿有罪的短暂享受。他算为基督受的凌辱，比埃及的财物更宝贵，因他望断以及于那赏赐”（来11：25-26）

主从来不以己悲，在背着十字架受死的路上，有许多百姓及妇女跟随耶稣，为祂捶胸哀号。耶稣转身对她们说，“耶路撒冷的女儿，不要为我哭，当为自己和自己的儿女哭。”就在钉死之前的最后一刻，祂还为左右的罪犯代求：“父阿，赦免他们，因为他们所作的，他们不晓得。”

Why Good Lawyers make Good Politicians

"I am an old trial lawyer, " said Senator Reid, "There is always room to negotiate."

The skill of negotiation is to get some of what you want by giving the other party some of what they want. Politicians acts like lawyers, they knew that everything has a price. Compromise is always better than confrontation, in which case everyone lose.

Bush is the only MBA as U.S. president. He never understand the art of compromise and negotiation. He wanted to win it all and left nothing for others, and what happened was history.

Reading of the Book "Into Thin Air" （进入稀薄的空气中)

Jon Krakauer 1996 年的纪实性报告记载了他跟随两组著名的登山导游团队于当年五月攀登上珠峰的经历。这次登山以前所未有的悲剧告终，8名登山团员丧生于突然出现的暴风雪中，作者和其余几名队员幸免于难。
让我印象最深刻的不是他们的登山的过程的艰苦，而是人内心何等的虚空：登山队员都是“成功人士”，他们付得起6万美元让最优秀的职业登山人带他们登上世界之巅。其中最有名的一位顾客是NBC的女主持人Sandy Pittman（在当时的名人圈中是一位响当当的人物）。 为了能有别人都没有的夸耀资本，他们在氧气瓶和职业登山人加上几名尼泊尔挑夫的帮助下踏上了“征服珠峰”的不归路。其中有一位在95年的冲顶中被迫折回，一年后再来尝试。
由于珠峰在29,029 英尺（客机的巡航高度是26，000英尺 ），缺氧和酷寒以及变化莫测的天气，一位登山者的margin of error 是极为窄小的。其中一项要求是：为了能在天黑之前下山，登山队必须与下午2点钟折回，不管你离峰顶多么的近。可惜的是，两组的领队是登山业务上的竞争者，他们都不愿意只是对手成功登顶（结果这两位著名的登山好手同时遇难）。两队都在下午2点之后不顾规则继续向上攀登。再加上这些业余登山爱好者对登上世界之巅有太多的渴望，登顶已是不能阻挡的诱惑。他们的正常理智已经丧失，对他们本不配得的“登山荣誉”不能放手，间接的导致了悲剧的发生。
当暴风雪把8名队员困在山顶时，基地的救援人员因为风太大（超过时速100英里，wind chill 在摄氏零下80度），只能通过无线电安慰他们，直到信号消失...
与此对比，作者还记载了一位在他们前几天冲顶的瑞典人Goran Kropp。他从瑞典一个人骑自行车半年到尼泊尔（相比那些坐喷气式飞机再转直升机的登山客），又在没有氧气的帮助下单独一人冲顶。他没有成功。在离峰顶不到100英尺的时候折回下山了。当时所有人都为他遗憾。可他自己认为如果登顶了，他就不一定下得了山，因为“Going to the top is optional, going down is mandatary.”
我觉得，这个瑞典人才是真正的强者。他知道如果不是自己能做到的，自己也不配得到。每一个悲剧的背后都有贪婪，每一个胜利的背后都有运气，如果不是出于神，或早或晚，运气会用尽。 愿主赐给我们智慧和启示的灵，“Lead us not into temptation, but deliever us from the evil." (叫我们不陷入试诱，救我们脱离那恶者）

The Letter of Sullivan Ballou in "the Civil War"

美国内战中最感人的一封信，北方军罗德岛第二志愿团Ballou少校写给他的妻子Sarah。 我 在Ken Burns 的“the Civil War"中听到，找到原文如下。Ballou向妻子解释他为什么要舍弃今生的幸福和生命，为什么要付出这样大的代价去拯救联邦。他认为自己是一个对独立战争死去的士兵欠债的人，他甘心舍去自己的性命来偿还。

To put the letter in context it is helpful to understand a little more about Sullivan's background. His father had died when he was very young and he was raised by his mother in absolute poverty. Yet, Sullivan managed to get an education and become a successful lawyer. He was eventually elected to the Rhode Island House of Representatives where he twice served as Speaker of the House. He was married to Sarah and had two young boys by the time he entered the Union army in June 1861. When Sullivan wrote his letter, he was camped with his regiment near Washington, D.C. Rumors of an expected move south into Virginia against the Confederates had been circulating all summer. Those rumors were about to come true. Everyone expected one big battle to settle the dispute between north and south. That battle would take place near Manassas Junction, Virginia but with an unexpected result. _____________ Sullivan's Letter _____________ July 14, 1861 Camp Clark, Washington My Very Dear Sarah: The indications are very strong that we will move in a few days - perhaps tomorrow. Lest I should not be able to write you again, I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I shall be no more. Our movement may be one of a few days duration and full of pleasure – or it may be one of severe conflict and death to me. “Not my will, but thine, O God, be done.” If it is necessary that I should fall on the battlefield for my country, I am ready. I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in, the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how strongly American Civilization now leans on the triumph of the government, and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing - perfectly willing - to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this government, and to pay that debt. But, my dear wife, when I know that with my own joys I lay down nearly all of yours, and replace them in this life with cares and sorrows – when, after having eaten for long years the bitter fruit of orphanage myself, I must offer it as their only sustenance to my dear little children – is it weak or dishonorable, while the banner of my purpose floats calmly and proudly in the breeze, that my unbounded love for you, my darling wife and children, should struggle in fierce, though useless, contest with my love of country? I cannot describe to you my feelings on this calm summer night, when two thousand men are sleeping around me, many of them enjoying the last, perhaps, before that of death – and I, suspicious that Death is creeping behind me with his fatal dart, am communing with God, my country, and thee. I have sought most closely and diligently, and often in my breast, for a wrong motive in thus hazarding the happiness of those I loved, and I could not find one. A pure love of my country and the principles I have often advocated before the people and “the name of honor that I love more than I fear death” have called upon me, and I have obeyed. Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me to you with mighty cables that nothing but Omnipotence could break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly on, with all these chains, to the battlefield. The memories of the blissful moments I have spent with you come creeping over me, and I feel most gratified to God, and to you, that I have enjoyed them so long. And hard for me it is to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes of future years when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and seen our sons grow up to honorable manhood around us. I have, I know, but few and small claims upon Divine Providence, but something whispers to me – perhaps it is the wafted prayer of my little Edgar - that I shall return to my loved ones unharmed. If I do not my dear Sarah, never forget how much I love you, and when my last breath escapes me on the battlefield, it will whisper your name. Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless and foolish I have often times been! How gladly would I wash out with my tears every little spot upon your happiness, and struggle with all the misfortune of this world, to shield you and my children from harm. But I cannot. I must watch you from the spirit land and hover near you, while you buffet the storms with your precious little freight, and wait with sad patience till we meet to part no more. But, oh Sarah! If the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they loved, I shall always be near you; in the garish day and in the darkest night – amidst your happiest scenes and gloomiest hours - always, always; and if there be a soft breeze upon your cheek, it shall be my breath; or the cool air fans your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by. Sarah, do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for thee, for we shall meet again. As for my little boys, they will grow as I have done, and never know a father’s love and care. Little Willie is too young to remember me long, and my blue-eyed Edgar will keep my frolics with him among the dimmest memories of his childhood. Sarah, I have unlimited confidence in your maternal care and your development of their characters. Tell our mothers I call God’s blessing upon them. O Sarah, I wait for you there! Come to me, and lead thither my children. - Sullivan 一个星期以后，Sullivan Ballou 少校在Mannassas 阵亡。

The Lesson of Two Hungry Men

"从前，有两个饥饿的人得到了一位长者的恩赐：一根鱼竿和一篓鲜活硕大的鱼。其中，一个人要了一篓鱼，另一个人要了一根鱼竿，于是他们分道扬镳了。得到鱼的人原地就用干柴搭起篝火煮起了鱼，不久，他便饿死在吃空的鱼篓旁。另一个人则提着鱼竿向水边走去，可当他已经看到不远处那片水塘时，他浑身的最后一点力气也使完了。"

What I learned: God did not create us alone. The grace of God is only to be shared.
"No man is an island"

外表与内心

耶和华却对撒母耳说，不要看他的外貌和他身材高大，我不拣选他。因为要紧的不是人怎样看；人是看外貌，耶和华是看内心。撒母耳记上16:7


不要轻忽在你里面的恩赐，就是从前借着预言，同众长老按手所赐给你的。
这些事你要殷勤实行，并要投身其中，使众人看出你的长进来。你要留意自己和自己的教训；要在这些事上持之以恒，因为这样行，又能救自己，又能救听你的人。

For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come.